For this week's Wednesday, I thought I'd throw out something a wee bit more personal (feel free to skip; it's a little lengthy).
Earlier today, I'd read Sara's blog post which got really personal about her and her past, present, future with boys and whatnot. It's extremely well written, and I thought she did a great job in being so open with her readers. If you're a blogger, you know how hard it can be to keep that balance of being personal enough so the readers feel like they know you, without getting too personal and pushing them away. It's a fine line that we all walk depending on our own level of comfort.
But with her post and some other things going on, I started to think about how hard it is to be a girl. (I'm not saying it's not hard to be a boy; but I really don't have any experience with that. lol. Sorry, boy readers, just bear with me for a bit:) Anyway, we have all this pressure of how to look and how to talk and how to act and how to think... dress like this.. don't do that... be this tiny or no one will ever love you.
It's exhausting.
And it's almost easier to buy in to all the lies that are out there than to accept ourselves for who we really are. To embrace our flaws. To see ourselves as how others honestly see us and not how we do when we constantly pick everything apart and overanalyze everything.
I bring up Sara's post, because I'd told her that as cliche as it is, no one else can ever love you until you love yourself. (warning! warning! here comes the personal part!!)
I have struggled with this for.... oh 28+ years, I suppose. hahaha. For so so so so sooooo long I tried to be everything that everyone else wanted me to be. I wanted so badly to be "liked" that's I'd morph into whatever I thought people liked, and that could change depending on whomever I was around. But the bottom line was always the same:
Be happy.
Be perfect.
And on the outside, I totally was. Super involved in school. Lots of friends. Great grades. A boyfriend almost every day of my life. Parents were proud. Teachers loved me. Girls were jealous of me.
But I still wasn't happy.
All those times, I was trying to to keep everyone else happy, I wasn't doing anything for me to be happy. I didn't know who I was (which, okay, that whole "find yourself" BS is overused, but still somewhat true). Or what I wanted. Almost every single decision in my life has been based on what other people think. Or what other people want.
I tell this to other girls all the time, "At some point in your life, you have to figure out what it is that YOU want." Oh, if only I could follow my own advice.
Anyway, this isn't to get all depressed and ohh woe is me, 'cause honestly, it's not like that at all! (well, maybe a little, lol). But I want you to know that if you feel like that, you're not alone. You can't always hide behind the glossy lips and the glittery fingernails and pretend everything is perfect. You don't have to be perfect. You just need to be you, and be happy with YOU, and LOVE YOU---whatever you that turns out to be and whether there's anyone else even around:)
She was daddy's little girl
Momma's little angel
Teacher's pet, pageant queen
She said "All my life I've been pleasin' everyone but me,
Waking up in someone else's dream"
Momma's little angel
Teacher's pet, pageant queen
She said "All my life I've been pleasin' everyone but me,
Waking up in someone else's dream"
~Faith Hill~
