Flashback Friday: MySpace Memories

"Things change, times change, people change. I think the people changing is what's affected me the most. People I was friends with years ago are now nothing but mere acquaintances. Was it they who changed or was it I?"

This quote was from my high school graduation speech and it has stuck with me through the years ingrained in my mind. As we move on through different stages in our lives, some people continue on with the journey while others we leave along the way. Sometimes it's they who do not want to keep going forward with us. Sometimes it's us, realizing some relationships need to be cut in order to get where we're going. Sometimes people just drift apart when one season ends and unfolds into another.

I remember reading a quote years ago that said, "The great thing about pictures is that they never change even when the people in them do." It was on that basis I looked for inspiration for today's post.

Do you remember the world before Facebook and Twitter? Some of you may know that before FB really took off, we were all on a site called MySpace. lol. Before MySpace was really big, I had a blog (if I can call it that?) on Xanga.com. I decided to visit both of those locations lately (to see if they were even still there!) And I was both excited and surprised to see everything exactly as I left it from years past.

a Xanga post

My Xanga still talked about trying to find a job after graduation... things that were going on with college boyfriend... I wrote about my feelings when my Grampa passed away... it was so open. So personal. So emotional.

My MySpace was full of notes and comments from people I haven't talked to in years. Of the "top 7 friends" listed on the site, I'm now only friends with three of them... and one of those I haven't talked to in a few months.

my MySpace profile--still pink and girlie like me now lol

But there was my life from 2004 'til early 2009. Frozen in time. Like a little capsule to take me back to people, places, and events I may have otherwise forgotten.

The internet is a crazy place that way. Keeping everything forever. It's comforting to know that no matter where we go in this life or how far we change from who we were, there is still a record to remember who we were, what we did, and where we came from. It is all those experiences--both good and bad--that turn us into the fabulous women and men we become in our adult and later lives.

So, to answer my initial question "was it they who changed or was it I?" I'm sure it's a little bit of both... but as I read things written by the me of the past, I realize my thoughts and feelings about me, others, life in general, have matured over the years. Inside, I'm still that crazy, girlie, drama-filled 21 year old I was in my Xanga days; but I'm also a stronger woman who can recognize the big picture of things and not get so wound up over every day trials.

How about you? Do you have a life time capsule somewhere on the internet? How do you feel you've changed from back in the pre-social-media-everywhere days?:)

Friendship Series: Part 4--Keeping Friends

It's that time again! Another weekend post in my friendship series! Quick recap, I've shared with you some of my experiences, talked about how to find friends, and how to make friends. Maybe you've made it this far. You've found some people with shared interests and you've hung out a bit, but how do you make it last?

To go along with my dating comparisons, you're ready to "go steady" (omg, do kids even say that anymore? Hahah, I remember in high school [I graduated in '01] I'd be all like, "I'm going out with Mikey" or "Becky is going out with Seth" and my mom would ask, "Where are you going?" "Mommmmm," I'd sigh and roll my eyes, "we're not going anywhere, it's just means we're boyfriend girlfriend" haha. Ah, the good old days.)

Anyway! How do you get to be in a serious/committed (lol) friendship with someone?

I can sum it up in three words:

It


takes


work.

There's no magical recipe to be BFF-dom. (at least not that I've found). What I have discovered is you get out of a friendship what you put in. So those "dates" I mentioned going on to get to know your new friend? You have to keep doing that. Continue going to coffees, lunches, dinners, brunches, movies, etc. so you can constantly build on the foundation you started.

If you have shared interests, do them together--go to the pool, the beach; play tennis; go hiking; go shopping! Whatever it is you (or she) likes, do it together! Include her in decisions you're making; problems you're having; thoughts you're thinking.

Talk to her! Call her, text her, email her, Facebook her, Tweet her--whatever your preferred way of communication is--do that! (I'm not gonna lie, this is the one I'm not very good at. I love getting emails from people, but I am sooo horrible at replying! If I don't write back as soon as I get it; I will probably forget all about it).

And above all; be honest. Be honest about who you are. Don't try to be someone you think people want to like, be someone who YOU like and others will like you:) (that's so fortune cookie-ish, but I promise it's true:)

And if they don't like you; they really shouldn't be your friend. You are too wonderful a person to waste your time on non-friend-worthy people.

Friendship Series: Part 2 Finding Friends

I started the "Friendship Series" to kinda go a little deeper into how we make friends, how we keep friends, what happens when we lose friends or move on, etc. I didn't write about it last weekend because ironically enough I was actually busy all weekend with friends. lol.

So back to it today! As I've mentioned before, it was so much easier making friends when we were younger because eligible people were just everywhere! In the neighborhood, in the classroom, at the soccer field (or whatever sport or activity you were in:), in the dorms, at girl scouts (I never was one, but I hear that's a good way to make friends, too), etc. Then when you get older, especially if you move or start a new job, it's harder to find people that would make good friends.

Some people say if you hang out places you like being, you will find people who also like those places. In theory a great idea. So you go to coffee shops... book stores... makeup stores.. wherever. But what then? You don't just walk up to some girl and say, "Hi! Would you like to be my friend?" Then you just seem like a crazy person.


Making friends is harder than dating.

Now, before I share with you my secret to finding friends, let us take a moment to hear from someone else who was trying to make friends. Have you ever watched the "Big Bang Theory"? (if so, you're even more wonderful than I thought you were. If  not, are you crazy??? It's like the best TV show IN THE WORLD.) Anyway, little secret, I am totally in love with Sheldon Cooper. I think he is the most adorable thing ever. And honestly? I'd probably be in love with Jim Parsons, too. There is just something so endearing about cute, smart, kinda nerdy boys. They intrigue me. (had I realized this back during my sophomore year of college, I wouldn't have been so horrible to Reid Kornman.) But enough babbling, the point is, Sheldon was at a loss as to how to make friends. This video shows what happened when he went to learn how (sorry! I can't embed it, but I promise if you click the link, it will be two and a half minutes well spent:)

So what can be gleamed from the video? (other than it is really weird to talk to complete strangers in a public place trying to make friends??) We're not the only ones that have a hard time!

a bunch of my girl friends from Virginia

As promised, here is my secret. Meetup.com. Yes, I make friends online. But I promise it's not a loser thing to do! It's not like some creepy online dating site, basically Meetup is full of different groups centered on common interests or hobbies. There's different outings/activities that the groups have and you can go to as many or as few as you like!

This is practically the only way I make friends anymore. You're not going to like every person you meet, and you may not find a BFF right away. But I promise, it's a super simple, easy way, to get out, get involved, and find people that are like you:)

I've been gone from Virginia for almost a year and a half now, and some of those girls are still my very closest friends.

Now what about you? How do you make friends when you're in a new place? Where did you meet the friends that you have now?

**all pictures on this post are courtesy of Melissa Arlena Photography -- my favorite photographer in the world:) You can see more of the pix from the Crazy Booth session of my going away party on her blog**